Around sometime last week, with the drowsy weather and end of school term, I encountered a bit of the blues. I'm not a stranger to these sad feelings, they've visited before. School was a newfound factor in my mental health. Facing challenges everyday with social anxiety and depression in school. The biggest challenge besides stressing about what I'll say to the cashier to make conversation less awkward, is understanding why I wake up feeling sad. This question can have many answers; stress, family, relationships, money etc... but really I wanted to understand more on the why instead of the supposedly superficial reasons.
My obsession with podcasts has been going on since the end of this summer, I find comfort in being able to have a voice;an invisible friend where theres no pressure to respond or interact with. I can also multitask and not feel like I'm wasting time in front on my computer on Youtube.
Using the podcast tool, and wanting to learn more on my mental health, I do a simple search of "depression" on apple podcasts. I find Sam Harris's channel, I read a couple reviews and I notice the most recent one is on depression and addictions. It's a sign! I download it, and listen on my daily bus ride to school.
The episode has Johan Hari, an author of books on his research on depression and addictions. The conversation between Sam Harris and Johan Hari delves deeply into our search for meaning, and if we feel we don't have meaning, we develop depression which can lead to addiction. How, although our world is plentiful with oppurtunities and choices, we still feel so incredibly lonely.
Listening to this conversation in my headphones made me think, what is my meaning? how can I find this meaning? will I waste my entire life searching for meaning and if I do find it, will my depression dissapate?
So many questions, and so many possible answers. For now, I list my meaning as "the one to feed my cat in the morning"
Hope you listen to the podcast, and I hope you find your meaning.
Hey Maddie, you are so not alone! Are you taking a vitamin D supplement? I find it hugely helpful in the winter.
ReplyDeleteI actually do have vit D in my cabinet!! I didn't know it helped with mental health... I know B12 helps me for sure.
DeleteB12 is magical for us herbivores but definitely add in some vitamin D. I wouldn't recommend it right before bed because it's super energizing but it's great in the mornings or the afternoon slump!
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